We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
