Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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