we made out on top of his cat.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm at about main and main street
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
