sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
