My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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