i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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