Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
