My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
