I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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