Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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