put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
There's even glitter on my cock...
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