oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
