Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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