I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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