i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
