I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
