Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
