Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
