I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Couch. On fire.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
