it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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