i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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