I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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