eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
