dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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