You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
