butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
