Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
