I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
