is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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