she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i dont even know how to be here
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
