Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
