i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
