Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
