I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
