i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
