SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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