Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
