Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
