Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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