Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
