i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
