would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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