paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
