wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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