ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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