I cockslap morals
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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