She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
