I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
