What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
