If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hippo gnu deer
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
