so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We left the knife in your bed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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