I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
