we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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