so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
