Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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