So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
