I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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