Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
